12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And, over all these virtues, put on love which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.  16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.  17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:12-17 New International Version

Most of us take care in our appearance. We groom ourselves and dress in a way that will make us acceptable to the people who matter to us. If we are Christians, then as well as family and friends, the people who matter most to us will be our brothers and sisters in Christ. Paul uses the illustration of putting on clothes to describe how there are things we need to 'put on' in our relationships with one another. And, just as clothes don't automatically jump onto our body, so the things he mentions don't just happen by themselves. We need to actively do them. Look again at the five 'items' he mentions in vs 12 that we are to clothe ourselves with. Can you see how each one of those would build and strengthen a relationship?

But what if a fellow Christian falls short in one or more of those actions and they bug me, or even hurt me by what they say or do? (vs 13)

The word 'bear' means to 'put up with'. We are not to immediately get our backs up and retaliate, but rather to make the effort to live peaceably with them. More than that, we must be eager to forgive them. This doesn't mean they shouldn't also be making an effort to do the right thing, or that they don't need to apologize, but our readiness to forgive is because we know we have been forgiven so very, very much by Christ. Do we realize how often He must find our behaviour falling short of His will for us. Yet He doesn't disown us or ignore us. Remember how He put up with His disciple’s many shortcomings.

What should guide us in all our relationships and any misunderstandings that should arise? (vs 15)

The word 'rule' in that verse means 'be the umpire'. That's the person who decides whether something is right or wrong in a game. Christ has given peace to our heart (through His forgiveness of sin and His love for us) and He also calls us to keep the peace in the Church. So if issues arise – that peace should help us make the right decisions on how to respond. Is my response going to disturb the peace in my heart - or even in the Church? We need to remember we are one body in Christ. We are on the same team.

This doesn't mean that we sit idly by when things are happening that are causing hurts and need to be put right. What does vs 16 say is an ongoing part of belonging to God's family?

Christians need help to grow in the Lord. This involve being taught the right way to go and, sometimes, even being admonished. Some of this takes place in the songs we sing and the messages that are preached, but it can also happen in a one-to-one way as well. (As long as we remember vs 12 in such conversations.) And when we try and sort out any problems that have arisen, it is God's word (the message of Christ vs 16) that should be our guide. Not our own rules for how others should behave. In vs 15 and vs 17 we are also told to be thankful. It is this spirit of thankfulness to God (as we realize how He treats us, and for the gift of Christ) that makes us want to put on those things that are pleasing to Him.