Day 320: Handling criticism - Proverbs 15 vs 29 – 33
29 The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous. 30 The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, and good news refreshes the bones. 31-32 The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence. 33 The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honour. Proverbs 15:29-33 English Standard Version
How do you respond to criticism, even if you know deep down that what was said to you is true? Most of us find it quite hard to take. Yet what do vs 31-32 suggest our response to fair criticism should be?
Today's translation used the word 'reproof'. That's when we use words to point out someone's fault. In its stronger form it can even mean to rebuke them for bad behaviour. Some would say Christians shouldn't do that, but in Luke 17:3 Jesus said to the disciples: “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” So there is a time and place for strong words to be said, and how we respond to that if we are on the receiving end can make a big difference to our life. Notice that Proverbs called it 'life giving' reproof, and its aim was to instruct people and make them wise. I would even say that taking criticism in the right spirit can result in what we read in vs 30.
That's a strange verse to us, but what it seems to mean is that when we receive something good and beneficial, it actually lifts our spirit. Our eyes, as it were, brighten and our heart rejoices. This is especially true if the reason someone criticized (or reproved) us, was because they saw the danger we were in because of our behaviour, and they cared enough about us to do something. James 5:19-20 speaks of this when it says: “If one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” (James 5:19-20) In Revelation 3:19 Jesus says: “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”
What are two things that make it much easier to handle criticism, and to accept it when someone points out something in our life that we need to change? (vs 33)
When we have a proper fear of God and don't want to grieve the Holy Spirit, and are willing to humble ourselves and be corrected, it will lead to wisdom and a life that honours the Lord. And we will be honoured too, for Jesus said: “Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:12)
By the way, criticism is not just for the 'lower ranks' of believers! In his letter to Timothy the apostle Paul spoke about when Church leaders are criticized. He said “Don't admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.” (1 Timothy 5:19-20) So no-one in the Church should think they are above criticism. All of us stand in need of loving correction.
But that leads to the important question of by what standard or measure should any criticism be based on? Is it just my preference against someone else’s? I think the answer is in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 where Paul says: “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” So, if someone cares enough for us to draw our attention to something in God's word that would bring us closer to the righteousness God loves, we should bless them for it. After all, what is the lovely promise in vs 29 of today's reading?
That's a good enough reason to take all meaningful criticism and correction on board.