21 The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. 22-23 Good sense is  a fountain of life to him who has it, but the instruction of fools is folly. The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. 24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. 25 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 16:21-25 (English Standard Version)

There's an incident in the Old Testament where the Israelites under King Saul were in a fierce battle with the Philistines and were near exhaustion as the day wore on because they hadn't eaten for a long while. Some of them came across some honey on the ground in a forest and Jonathan, the King's son, “dipped the end of his staff into a piece of honeycomb and ate the honey. And after eating it his eyes became bright.” (1 Samuel 14:27) That's an Old Testament way to say he was greatly refreshed. Can you see a link between that and what we see in vs 24 of our reading today?

The Hebrew for 'gracious words' meant words that are agreeable, suitable and pleasant. Words that fit the situation. Just as honey can refresh a hungry person, appropriate and suitable words can lift people's spirits and encourage the soul. Luke 4:22 tells us that when Jesus preached in Nazareth (where he had grown up) the people were 'amazed at the gracious words that came from His lips'. Later in His life the Jewish leaders sent soldiers to arrest Jesus, but in John 7:45-46 we read “When the Temple guards returned without having arrested Jesus, the leading priests and Pharisees demanded, “Why didn’t you bring him in?” “We have never heard anyone speak like this!” the guards responded.”

How do we learn to speak gracious words? (vs 22-23)

We see there that it is something that depends on a heart that is wise. Jesus said this too when he responded to the Jewish leaders who were making foolish accusations against Him. He said “How can evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.” (Matthew 12:34-35) So if we want to be people whose words help others we need to have a heart that is right with God. We need to believe on Jesus Christ as saviour and Lord and learn each day from His humility and meekness how we ought to speak.

Verses 21-23 of our reading twice mention that wise and gracious speech gives a person persuasiveness. It's human nature that tends to think we need to be loud, pushy and argumentative, even angry, to make our point and get our way. But what does verse 25 say?

That verse applies well to the question of how can a man or woman find peace with God and eternal life? But it’s also true of how we handle situations in life. Regarding eternal life - we need to believe Jesus when He said: “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) And regarding daily situations - we need to look to God for wisdom for the right words – words that persuade rather than destroy. This is how the apostle Paul put it in Colossians: “Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” (Colossians 4:5-6) The original Greek there said that our words should be “seasoned with salt.” Salt is purifying and it adds flavour. That's what gracious words do. Would you describe your speech and words as gracious? It's something we should ask God often to make true of our life.