12 The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it. 13  Take a man's garment when he has put up security for a stranger, and hold it in pledge when he puts up security for an adulteress.

14 Whoever blesses his neighbour with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing. 15-16 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand.

17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. (Sharpens the face of another.) 18  Whoever tends a fig tree will eat its fruit, and he who guards his master will be honoured. Proverbs 27:12-18 English Standard Version

In the verse just before the ones we're looking at today the father had said: “Be wise, my son, and make my heart glad, that I may answer him who reproaches me.” He was urging him to make wise choices in life that would bring no regrets to himself, or to the family. What was he warning his son against in vs 12-13?

He urges him to not rush into things, and to be careful of unwise commitments. That can be true of business ventures, as well as friends he chose. It was customary in those days for a garment to be used as security against a loan. If the loan wasn't repaid the garment could be taken. In cases where the one lending money was unwise, or it was for a sinful purpose, taking a pledged garment was justified. But there were times when compassion should be shown. Moses said: “If you lend anything to your neighbour, don't enter his house to pick up the item he gives as security. Wait outside while he goes in and brings it out to you. If your neighbour is poor and gives you his cloak as security for a loan, don't keep the cloak overnight. Return the cloak to its owner by sunset so he can stay warm through the night and bless you. And the Lord  your God will count you as righteous.” (Deuteronomy 24:10-13)

Verses 14-16 give advice on the sort of person his son should be, and the type of close relationships he should look for. He mustn't be a nuisance neighbour! (vs 14) It's not spiritual to play your Christian music loudly so that the neighbours can hear! He also advises the son to seek a woman who is not quarrelsome – no matter how physically exciting she might be. (vs 15-16) That's just as true for what sort of husband a woman should look for. Many years later the apostle Peter encouraged Christian wives to be the opposite of what Proverbs warns against. He wrote: “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewellery, or beautiful clothes. Clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to God.” (1 Peter 3:3-5)

But it isn't only marriage relationships where wisdom is needed, it's in personal friendships as well. What does vs 17 teach about the value of good friends, and what is it that leads to fruitful relationships according to vs 18?

A friendship where two men, or two women, can be really honest and open with one another, and discuss issues (even theology), is one of life's richest blessings. We've only to think of the friendship we read of in the Old Testament that grew between David and Jonathan. I sometimes wonder if men find it more difficult than women to form these close bonds, but it’s worth the effort.

Verse 18 came across to me as speaking of loyalty and protectiveness. These are important ingredients for a fruitful relationship, both in marriages as well as friendships. In a world where so much emphasis is on ‘self’ - the words of Proverbs are refreshing. To put the feelings of others before our own is something that can lead to relationships that are rich and lasting. “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4)