Day 110: Honouring parents – Deuteronomy 5 vs 16

Honour your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. Deuteronomy 5 vs 16 (English Standard Version link)

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honour your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4 (English Standard Version link)

Moses was passing on the commandments God had shown to him for how the Israelites were to live in the land He was giving them. In the verses before this one Moses told them that they were to have no other god in their life and were never to make any images of anything in heaven or earth to worship as a god. They were also not to misuse God's name and must set aside the Sabbath day as holy. So the first 4 commandments were about their relationship with God Himself. The commandments that follow are about their relationships with people. It was fitting therefore that God started with the first relationship we experience in life – our parents. What would you say honouring one's parents involves?

I'd suggest it involves showing respect, not doing things that would hurt them, helping them where you can and looking out for their well-being. The apostle Paul gave perhaps the most important way we honour our parents – by obeying them. What did Paul bring out as a good reason to honour and obey our parents? (See vs 4 in the reading above)

He wisely noted that this was the first commandment that had a promise linked to it. A good parent-child relationship leads to good things. It also establishes nations. We don’t even need the social studies and statistics which show that stable homes lead to less crime and less social problems. But Paul says that's not even the main reason we should obey our parents – he uses the phrase 'in the Lord'. Respect and obedience to parents is simply the Christian way of doing things. But what is the obvious problem that could arise with such a commandment?

It's surely the question: 'What if we have parents who behave in ways that make it very difficult to honour and obey them?' There's no easy answer here. Paul deals with a big part of it by urging parents (especially fathers) not to provoke their children and make them angry. This can happen if parents are inconsistent or their rules are too strict, or if they favour one child over another, or if they show little interest in the child. Parents can also be self centred and ungrateful.

The apostle Peter's words to servants in those days may help here. He said: “Servants, submit yourselves to your masters and show them complete respect, not only to those who are kind and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. God will bless you for this, if you endure the pain of undeserved suffering because you are conscious of his will.” (1 Peter 2:18-19) I'm sure that, in a similar way, God blesses children who do their best to honour even difficult parents. I'd also say that Moses was giving the general principle God wants us to obey - he isn't dealing here with the terrible abnormal issue of parents who abuse a child. Young children need to be rescued from such parents!

Lastly, Paul's letter to Timothy shows that honouring our parents is not only for when we were small. He says: “Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her. But if she has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases God.” (1 Timothy 5:4) Honouring our parents is pleasing to God. That’s good enough reason to obey this commandment.