Day 400: Marriage and divorce – Deuteronomy 24 vs 1 – 5

1 If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house.  2-4  If after leaving his house she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the second man hates her, writes her a divorce certificate, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house or if he dies, the first husband who sent her away may not marry her again after she has been defiled, because that would be detestable to the Lord. You must not bring guilt on the land the  Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

5 When a man takes a bride, he must not go out with the army or be liable for any duty. He is free to stay at home for one year, so that he can bring joy to the wife he has married. Deuteronomy 24:1-5 Christian Standard Bible

Ever since sin came into the world men and women have struggled with relationships. Adam was quick to blame Eve for his own disobedience, and Abram's wife, Sarai, was quick to blame Abram after she gave her servant maid to him to bear a child for her. “Sarai said to Abram, 'This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong - you or me!'” (Genesis 16:5-6) So by the time Moses lived it seems that marriage breakups had become common. In today's reading God gave Moses instructions so that women would not be treated like an object to be passed back and forth. This doesn’t mean however that God agreed with divorce, as we see from an incident in the New Testament.

In Matthew 19 we read: “Some Pharisees came and tried to trap Jesus with this question: 'Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?' Jesus replied 'Haven’t you read the Scriptures? They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” Then He said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.' The Pharisees responded: 'Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?' Jesus replied,  'Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery - unless his wife has been unfaithful.'” (Matthew 19:3-9)

While it’s understandable if someone wants a divorce because their wife or husband has been unfaithful, what did Jesus say was more likely to lead to a low view of marriage and seeing divorce as the easy way out?

He said Moses permitted it as a concession to ‘the hardness of their hearts'! The Jews should've realized even from what Moses said that divorce isn't something God delights in. Verse 5 above goes on to show that marriage was intended to be a joyful relationship and something to be seen in a positive light. From what Jesus said to the Pharisees it’s obvious that Christians are not meant to divorce. Sadly, it can and does happen, and sometimes it's because of adultery. But, thinking of what Jesus said about ‘hard hearts’, what would you say Christians ought to do if their marriage is struggling, rather than allowing anger and bitterness to get the upper hand?

In his letter to the Colossians, just before giving advice to wives and husbands, the apostle Paul wrote to Christians in general and said: “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:12-14)

Can you see how those things could dramatically change a relationship and save a marriage from divorce? Yes, it will only work perfectly if both parties put those words into action – but it's a good start if even one of them tries to save the marriage by doing them. Marriages were meant to last. Take time to pray for anyone you may know whose marriage may be going through some troubled waters.