Day 431: A beautiful heart - 1 Peter 3 vs 1 – 7

1-2 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live when they observe your pure, reverent lives. 

3-4 Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewellery or fine clothes, but rather what is inside the heart - the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5-6 For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.

7 Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honour as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:1-7 Christian Standard Bible

Peter's words are sure to get a lot of scorn and mocking in western countries today. Having earlier urged slaves in his generation to be patient when mistreated by an unfair master, and to trust God in their situation, he now urges Christian wives to show a similar submissive spirit towards their husbands. Even to husbands who are not Christians! (vs 1-2) And if that is not controversial enough, look at what he says in vs 3-4. Is the Bible against woman looking attractive?

Not at all. The Bible describes, in a favourable way, that Abraham's wife Sarah, and Isaac's wife, Rebekah, were very beautiful. But what word in vs 3-4 would you say tells us why inner beauty is more precious than outward beauty?

I'd say it's that word 'imperishable'. The outward beauty (or handsomeness) that anyone was born with, like all of creation, is fading and passing away. But our resurrection bodies in the new creation will endure forever. Meanwhile, God our heavenly Father regards a gentle and quiet spirit in a woman of more worth than elaborate hairstyles, precious jewellery and the latest fashion clothing. Is Peter saying using makeup and taking care of one's looks is sinful? I'd say definitely not. But I suggest he is saying that what a woman is like on the inside is much more important than how 'hot' she looks on the outside. Christian men need to take that to heart when they seek a wife. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)

But doesn't this leave women vulnerable to being treated badly? Short answer is yes. But remember, Peter is talking essentially to Christian women (who have God watching over them) and then (in vs 7) to Christian husbands. He calls Christian husbands to care for their wives with understanding and tenderness. Some might ask why he has more words for the wives than the husbands? I'd say it is precisely because they are more vulnerable and have the harder role. What then were the two reasons Peter puts forward why wives and husbands should behave in the way he calls them to? (vs 3-4 & 7)

He said such behaviour was of great worth in God's sight, and the prayer life of the home would not be hindered. It would be difficult to pray together if the home was full of friction and resentment because of a rebellious wife or a harsh domineering husband.

For Christians who say they still think this is wrong and there doesn't need to be a 'head of the home', I'd ask a simple question. Should believers submit to Christ or should Christ submit to the believer? The Bible likens Jesus to a bridegroom and the Church to His bride. So husbands must love their wives in the same way Christ loved the Church, and wives must be subject to their husbands as the Church is subject to Christ. That's a high calling for the husband as well as for the wife. It's a big reason to pray for one another in the marriage that each may have the grace to live with all humility in the role God has called them to.