Day 411: Barriers and blessings - Proverbs 18 vs 19 - 24

19 An offended brother is harder to reach than a fortified city, and quarrels are like the bars of a fortress. 20-21 From the fruit of his mouth a man’s stomach is satisfied; he is filled with the product of his lips. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

22  A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. 23 The poor person pleads, but the rich one answers roughly. 24 One with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:19-24 Christian Standard Bible

We’re living in days when many people are easily offended by the speech of others. Sadly, the ones offended are usually those who don't like anyone disagreeing with their chosen lifestyle. It’s led to what is called a 'cancel culture', where people who are easily offended by truth want to silence anyone who speaks the truth. What we read in vs 19 is very true of such people. They want nothing to do with those who differ with them.

But the verse is speaking more of the sort of fallout that can occur even between brothers, i.e. those who are 'on the same side'. Arguments can lead to lasting division. Why does that make vs 20-21 important?

I suggest that the writer reminds us (as he has done often in Proverbs) that our words can have a powerful impact on others, for better or worse. Those who use words carefully, wisely and well, will 'eat the fruit’ of those words. They will experience better relationships with people and less fallout's with friends. (Obviously, people who don't like truth will still build bars against them!) When he speaks of the 'fruit' of our words, we can recall that the fruit which the Holy Spirit brings about in our life includes things such as patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. If those things guide our words we will overcome many barriers.

The last three verses of this chapter include two great blessings in life. Verse 23 states something that is all to often true in the world – life is a struggle for some and they are resorted to begging favours to get by, while others who have an abundance often treat such people badly. But what do vs 21 and 24 say can still be a blessing in the midst of this worlds hardships?

The first blessing is that of a good marriage. Much of the context of Proverbs was of a father writing to his son, so the picture of the man finding a wife is appropriate. But a woman who finds a good husband would be just as much a blessing from God. In God's original plan Eve was meant to be a suitable companion and helper to Adam. And that's what a Biblical based marriage is still meant to be. If we find someone to marry who truly loves God, it is a great blessing. Does that mean that those who don't find a husband or wife are missing out badly?

I would say no. In 1 Corinthians 7:28 the apostle wrote to Christians that “those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” Strange words, but he was writing to a Church facing pressures and persecutions. Marriage is not without certain responsibilities which unmarried people won't have to deal with. But the real reason why marriage is not essential to happiness is because of what we read in vs 24.

That verse speaks of the sort of friend that sticks with us through the hardest times we may ever go through. Friends who won't be ashamed of us if we stumble but will want to help us up again. Friends who won't leave us if our circumstances make us more of a burden than a blessing to them. And what more wonderful friend can there ever be than the Lord Jesus Christ? We may not have many friends in our life and we may be unmarried – but if Christ is our Saviour, we have a friend who will stay closer than even a good brother (or sister) could ever do.