Day 829: Not just for wives! - Proverbs 31 vs 26 - 31

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28-29 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:26-31 English Standard Version

King Lemuel was describing the sort of woman his mother would have encouraged him to marry. Mothers sometimes do that sort of thing, though usually it's the type of man she's advising her daughter to marry! Very often they are probably right too. So what is said in vs 26 about the sort of speech that would make for an excellent wife?

She speaks words of wisdom and kindness. It suggests that such a wife spends time herself in God's Word, and from that spiritual goldmine she's been taught by the Holy Spirit the wisdom that comes from God. In a New Testament context, such a wife will have experienced the kindness shown to her in Jesus Christ and so she is eager to put that kindness into practice in the home. Not only that, vs 27 says that such a woman puts her family first and does all she can to ensure their well being. And what would the normal response of such a family be? (vs 28-29)

Such a wife and mother would be deeply appreciated by them. And, hopefully, like the husband does in those verses, they will often express that appreciation. Not just on 'mother's day' or her birthday! How tragic it is when a husband or children don't appreciate a woman who has given so much of herself for them. The first of the commandments God gave to Israel about their responsibility to others was “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12)

But not all women get married. So is this a chapter in the Bible they can skip over? No, because a chapter like this can be helpful to know how to pray for female friends who are married. Pray that they might grow to be the sort of wives this chapter speaks of. That's not always easy because some woman may be married to a man, or have children, who don't appreciate them, and who don't show the affection and love that would make their role so much easier to do.

The other reason why this chapter is for all women is because of what the writer says in vs 30.

As I’ve mentioned before, I think the apostle Peter may have had those words in mind when he wrote to Christian women and said: “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

I'm sure the Bible is not saying that a woman must neglect her appearance and not want to look her best. The same Peter would've remembered a day when a large group of widows stood around him, crying and showing him the robes and other clothing that Dorcas (who had just died) had made while she was still with them. (Acts 9:39). I suspect Dorcas would've made those clothes as pretty and beautiful as she could. The main point is surely that our outward appearance should not take up more of our focus and time than the state of our heart. King Lemuel spoke of the kind words that would flow from a good heart. Peter spoke of a quiet and gentle spirit which would not only be admired by people, but is precious in God's eyes.

What's said in vs 31 is exactly what was said of Dorcas by all who knew her. So too in the Church, do we make a point of encouraging the single women who so often do so much for others? Thank God for all women who fear the Lord and show the beauty of holiness.